WARNING--this is going to be an extremely honest commentary. Not for the squeamish. This is truly going to be from the heart.
I don't hate black men at all. If anything--the Black man hates his damn self.
But since this accusation is constantly aimed at any Black woman who places value on herself and knows the history going back 26,000 years in both Africa and the West....let me tell you what I as a North African Nilotic woman, age 44, living in the West (which is different from Africa)...really feels...about Black men as a group.
I have no interest in "The Black man" and his struggle anymore. I don't revere or love BM anymore figuratively as symbolic. It's not hatred...but a loss of respect. I see the BM today as an "annex" from my body. The fact that today's Black man is "willing" to kill the image of his own mother (his authentic Charcoal African mother)--yet call the White Man a "White Devil"--is a blatant hypocracy I can no longer support. What I think is that the Black man is also innately a "devil"...but he got his ass kicked by the White man.
So now he's bitter and vindictive about not being able to **BE** the White man and takes that out on Black women and children by claiming there's some defect in us (and our dark skin)...instead of where it really is...in him.
I feel that deep down Black men care nothing whatsoever about Black women as a group...we are collateral damage (as my friend Evia puts it). I don't think Black men see us as Human beings but as "incubation" mules, endurance mules, disposable pussy. For more than 1,000 years The Black Man never protected or uplifted the image of his own mother....but now suddenly....he can protect and uplift everybody else's mother. This is devastating for the Authentic Black woman and for the reputation of the Black race itself. And we ARE a race, we are by virtue of our phenotypes--a unique and divinely dark-skinned family. I don't give a damn what Westerners have to say about it.
I like to fuck Black men because they're good in bed. They are my natural mate (and I wanted black babies, of course, because I'm African). I like having sex with them, laughing with them, conversing and debating with them--and especially I love cooking and love watching any man eat a nice home cooked meal. But I don't trust Black men. Don't trust them worth a damn! It's not because I hate them...it's because they have no loyalty whatsoever to anyone or anything. They're too selfish and just like the White man...they're oppressors.
I feel that the Black Man has betrayed the Black woman in every way that a woman can be betrayed. I don't think we can ever "come back" from it. Just as slavery and colonialism permanently deformed our race--so has the Black man's betrayal of authentic black women, black children and blackness itself. Neither Africa nor the Black race can ever be whole again.
Our race is now overseen by WHITE-inflected Bastardized Buffer Race...Colonized Blood...people who no longer know anything about Authentic Blacks and don't care, because deep down, they're "running from" Blackness in the first place. They use and exploit our identity because they don't have one. They are considered "tainted" because of our blood and they're not allowed to rule anything on earth...but us. So they pretend to still be us...so they can have something to rule...which is us. As I have said about Western Blacks before: "They killed their own mother...and the White people watched." --KOLA BOOF
What is the fate of a Race of people willing to kill their own mother...for lighter skin? And for how long will we be able to point the finger of judgment and damnation at the outsiders who called our mother ugly?
American people (including Black Americans) have a HUGE problem with me because I'm not niggerstock and I'm not a fucking fool. I have eyes, ears and a brain. And I can see how this country has performed "invasion of the body snatchers" on African ancestors...turning them from Africans...to self-hating zombies in mass denial. I was adopted and raised by Black Americans, so I grew up understanding and sharing that self-hatred. But I still know better. We are not right-like and we are no longer morally superior to the Whites. We have truly become the Whites. Black Men preaching about racism and the dehumanization of Black males--en masse--need to just shut the fuck up. Because what the Black man has done against his own mother and his own seed is even worse than what White Devils did. And I for one am no longer interested in making excuses for our self-destruction and self-hate. We should be better than this. It's 2013. And we're now worse off than we were in 1945! I totally blame Black men and their fascination, no--their obsession--with all things White; their White God and pattern master (the White man); their White Joke (the White Woman); their "Buffer Race" children (who because of the White Man's racist slave plantation 1 drop rule are passed off as Black); their cloying, whining, dishonest and altogether "LOSER" rap songs and impotent political speeches.Black men hate they damn selves. And after all these centuries and all the Black women mules who've carried them on their backs--they're still not impressive. Just look at the fact that the most successful Black men on earth are unable to make a Black baby in their own image. Says everything! Do you hear me? But Western Blacks have no "lineage" in their minds--so they don't get what this image of Rich Blacks always holding White babies really and truly says. It says what's true--that we're niggerstock. And we might as well go back to the plantation because we're dressed up, glorified Niggerstock. And the Black Man is the world's MASCOT. A disgraceful Pogo-hopping "Fine Motherfucker" who has the audacity to call me... THE BLACK WOMAN.....bitter (I spend 90% of my day laughing, I'm hardly bitter just because I see you for what you really are)....angry (NOTE: anytime a Black woman has an opinion it's because she's 'angry'--not because she's intelligent, observant and obligated to honor her truth.) News Flash! Black women aren't bitter and angry. We know too damn much and we are truly at the bottom of the food chain. But no one can call us bitter and angry, because the fact is...none of you (white man, black man, white woman, Latino, Arab, Foon/Asian, whatever)....could last 2 days in our shoes. You moral hunchbacks have never had to grow unwatered. Black women on the other hand grow virtually unwatered.
And last but not least....jealous (That one really hurts, because with everything we've given to the Black man for the last 26,000 years and all that he's never given us--we deserve to at least be shown respect and the love a boy has for his mother. But we don't even get that. So you see, it's beyond something so trivial as jealousy....it's much, much bigger than that. But being historically such a poor strategist and dumb as dirt, Black men aren't smart enough to psychologically compute what we (their tired, hungry dark-wet Daughters)...must feel like inside. The darker our skin, the more they don't even care. That's why I say (and I mean this)--the Black man is every bit the devil that the White man is. He's a fucking asshole!
And just watch these "Maid-minded" Black American Women file in trying to defend and make excuses for him. That's 60% of what a Black American woman does with her entire life---defend and make excuses for the Black men who completely hate and betray us. Black American women have suffered and been so unloved for so long that they don't even know what a WOMAN is entitled to as a Wombbearer and a family member. They're on "automatic rhetoric dispense."And running in behind the long-suffering but loyal Black American women to uphold the honor of Black men will be the Typical Two-faced Selfish White-American Bitch. Actual and factual! The "Martin-Luther-King quoting" privileged White bitch. The most selfishly annoying (and did I say Two-faced already?) ...haint of all the haints on earth. And don't get me wrong. There are more than 2 dozen White women in my personal life that I deeply love and would die for, because they have truly been "sisters" to me. I don't hate White women or dislike their Whiteness. But in general, as a society, with the White woman as your sister in American communities--who needs AIDS? The average White American Woman truly believes (no matter how she denies it)...that she is superior to Black women. And she believes that camel shit lie because Black men bow at her feet every day telling her so. What else can she think when our own trifling self-hating ass son is making rap songs saying his own mother is nothing but a White woman is everything? Same racist Caucasoid bitch she always was; just with a Black dick in her mouth--because having no flavor of her own--she thinks black dick makes her overrated Pink ass relevant.
And of course everything is the White Devil man's fault. None of us (including these 2-faced White bitches who stabbed their White fathers in the back) took part in our own debasement. None of us believed in The White Man (eye roll)...none of us want to **BE** him (eye roll)...none of us actively rebuke everything about him. NO--you want to know why we "hate" The White Man? We hate him because we've accepted him as GOD. That's why. But in reality, we are all equally capable of every evil thing he has ever done....and we want a piece....of HIS pie. We don't want our own pie. We want exchange--not change. We want to be "Versions" of the White Man and live in his world. Black Men are not against Racism--they're against not being able to have a piece of that power pie. They want "in" and they will throw their own mothers down a flight of stairs (*for being dark skinned and nappy)...just to be part of that White man's Power paradigm. No questions asked. You've all seen it. Black men lie on, distort and disallow (dis-allow) the image of their Authentic Black Mother every damned day to aquire status!
Black Professors like Henry Louis Gates and Ishmael Reed will tell you that Lena Horne was our Real Mama and that everyone in Africa has always been "mixed-race" (the most racially diverse continent filled with Yellow Tribes and "good hurr").....all that Anti-Black rhetoric....that niggerstock Professors in America like to reel off in their quest to distance themselves from Blackness and the authentic BLACK MASSES on the continent. So I refuse to be told that I "hate black men"....when in reality....it's always been the other way around.And I refuse to be lied on by American people. I am not bitter, angry, difficult---fuck you! I am AWAKE, that is what I am, dear American people. I am AWAKE and I have a brain and it's on. And I'm no better or worse than any of you. Stop lying on Black women just because you don't understand our situation (because your privileged ass has never been in it!).
Black women don't OWE...Black men....SHIT! For 26,000 years we have given...and given....and given....and given. No group of Women on this planet have been more loyal than we have. NONE!If you don't understand Black women and how we feel--then fuck you! You (the world) came out of our Black asses, we didn't come out of yours!I don't hate anyone! I truly don't. My heart is full of love, welcome & good tidings for all human beings. Doesn't matter if you're White, diabetic, Downs-syndrome, Latino, Gay-Transgendered, a Black Man---doesn't matter what you are. If you want me to love you...I will. But don't put your camel shit lies on me and other black women.
Ironically, my best friend Posr (*pictured)...happens to be Black and male. He isn't happy about my views, but he truly understands and he shares the same ideology as me (we used to be engaged). And my ex-husband Simon Palacio (we were married 10 years) was also a Black man and remains one of my closest friends.
My sons will someday be Black men and they are the best sons on earth. My Black American adoptive father (RIP) was one of the greatest men I've ever known. He raised 8 of us and was happily married to my Black American Mother for 50 years. People would be shocked to know that most of the opinions I hold about Black men...were implanted in me by my deceased Black American father and by my mentors, the Nigerian Scholar Chinweizu and the late legendary scholar Professor Derrick Bell.
There really is no way to get someone who isn't Black and female to understand all the conflicting emotions and thoughts that come attached to this subject. The relationship (and war) between Black men and women is very complicated.
What I do know...is that I am proud to be an African Womanist Writer. I am proud of my work. I am proud to be the product of a Black American family--raised by a Black American mother. And I hold myself in extremely high esteem and value. I would like to see other Black women and girls do the same. As the Nubian tribeswomen say back in my country Sudan: "Our loyalty is to our wombs...not the men."